FML
by blacksta1n
Summary: one shot. i'm sure we all know fml by now. if not you'll find out. allen wakes up one morning to a visitor. how embarrassing... language... obviously


**FML**

Allen had been awake for a while, but had simply refused to open his eyes, he didn't need to see in order to know that it was far too early to be awake. But he was, and trying to keep as warm as possible in the winter morning chill, he had also refused to move, lying in that small oval of warmth, and rubbing his cold feet together. He had assumed that that was the reason for his 'awake-ness'; have you ever tried to sleep when your feet are cold, it's the same as trying to sleep with cold feet! (It makes sense, trust me)

Eventually he decided that it was time and he slowly, with chattering teeth, eased his eyes open to take in the grey morning light filling his room. The first thing he saw filled him with contempt for there was his red haired roommate, shirt less and spread out across he bed, half of his chest exposed. How could he be so comfortable and still asleep, sleeping like that when Allen was wearing, at least a shirt, and still shivering, huddled in a bundle beneath his blankets.

Lavi was Allen's red haired roommate, and also his best friend, but the slightly tanned male seemed to have incredibly thick skin as he slept like this all the time, only sweat pants clothing skin, even all through the snowy winter. To say that Allen was jealous would most likely be an understatement. The pale male (it rhymes!), that's Allen, had always been in need of a shirt as well pants, perhaps it was because Lavi appeared to have that much more confidence in himself, brave enough to wear only silky boxes through out the boarding house during summer.

Allen was rather conservative and refused to be seen in anything less than a shirt, feeling embarrassed by his pale skin and lack of muscles. He knew that both Lavi, and his other friend Kanda, were constantly working out and therefore had the body to show off. Allen scowled as he thought how Kanda didn't mind flaunting his bare chest through the boarding house, summer or winter. And that didn't make sense! Weren't Japanese traditionally conservatives?! But then again they still had the public baths. Allen was sure he was still tired, but sleep continued to evade him. _Damn it_!

Breaking through his slowly rampaging thoughts was an obnoxious knocking at the door to his dorm room. He groaned, hearing an echo of the noise as Lavi grunted and rolled onto his side, facing the wall. He forced himself out of bed and placed his cold feet onto the carpet, which he couldn't really feel. Taking a deep breath and acting as though he were about to bungee jump he took his time forcing himself out of bed and padding over to the plain white door; the knocking getting more and more impatient.

He pulled it open with a wince as the hall lights shone in his unprepared eyes, but what he saw made his eyes blink repeatedly for a different reason.

"tch. Took your bloody time"

"You aren't allowed to smoke on campus." Allen dead panned.

And just to spite him Cross blew the smoke right into his face, making him cough and splutter, looking up with watering eyes to see the man smirking down on him. "Do I look like I care?"

"Not –cough- not really, no. but what do you want at this un-godly hour?"

"It's 9 o'clock in the morning." the man had red hair that reached his shoulders, an stopped with a feminine curl, he wore a medical eye patch and made suits look tacky. Allen wasn't overly sure about their blood relations and often referred to him as 'uncle.'

"Exactly." Allen whispered, vaguely aware of the sound of Lavi shuffling around behind him, "so why are you _visiting_ at such an ungodly hour?"

Cross was desperate to make some kind of immature come back but refrained, choosing to keep his little dignity instead, "I'm leaving…" his words carried off as he stared directly behind Allen. His eyes were widening but his frown was increasing bringing up the most hilarious expression that Allen had ever seen on the man's face. He wanted to laugh, oh how he wanted to laugh, but his mind was distracted by what ever the man could have seen to bring forth such a hideous face.

Before Allen could turn around he felt a hand on his shoulder, warm breath on his cheeks above the press of soft lips. He blush tomato red when he heard Lavi whisper in the gayest voice, loud enough for Cross to hear;

"Thanks for last night sweetie!"

And he skipped off, revealing his tanned backside; he was stark naked.

"See you later" he called over his shoulder, a collection of clothes slung over in suit.

"What the shit." Cross muttered, still watching the naked boy retreat down the hall. With a couple of blinks he turned back to his 'nephew' to see him completely horrified, eyes popping and mouth hanging open in a silent scream. He cleared his throat for attention and Allen's eyes snapped back into focus, though still some what terrified. "I'm going away for a few months. Just letting you know. So. Bye…" he paused looking at Allen before turning away and rubbing his palm all over his face, "hes a fucking fag. I knew it. Well shit." He cold be heard muttering down the hall, in the opposite direction to Lavi.

Allen was left standing alone in the doorway to his dorm room blubbering like an idiot, still incapable of comprehension. Finally he got cohesive words out before he turned into his room, closing the door gently.

"fuck my life."

**A/N some people will recognise this plot, some people wont. Don't hurt me. And if you're confused, this is **_**not**_** a Laven, Allen and Lavi did not have hot kinky sex all night. For all I know they are as straight as their hair. And yet maybe this will follow on and Kanda gets wind of this and goes all possessive on Allen's arse. You just never know. I'm actually at school right now in one of the most pissy moods ever so if this is shit that is because I'm shitty, but I needed to vent. Isn't it sad that this is how I chose to vent? Don't comment on that.**

**Please review.**


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